(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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