apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
