They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
