i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
