What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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