We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
