I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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