Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
