We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
