New low: just hacked my moms facebook
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
