And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
