who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
