I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
