I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize