I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
