k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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