so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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