Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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