omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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