God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
