I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm really busy with my period
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