we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you told grandpa to call you daddy
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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