I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
