i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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