Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry h3lpm3 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

i will soon be in a relationship on fb

(919): View more from North Carolina

you!?

(561): View more from Florida

me and your mom. i mean, lisa.

Fav 11 3486 976
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

Fav 23 969 4135
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it

Fav 13 3206 1342
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.

Fav 4 1417 755
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?

Fav 20 3768 1420
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me

Fav 5 973 1655
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.

Fav 4 1053 637
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl

Fav 0 43 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma

Fav 0 47 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT