I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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