Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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