so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
