so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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