So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
