even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
