So drunk its hurt
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
