After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
