and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
