He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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