For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
