I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
