the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
