**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
