I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
