I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
