dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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