I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
