I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
