Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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