my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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