After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
