Need sex. Gaining weight.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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