i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
