Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
