am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
