I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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