The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
