I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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