remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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