its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
