I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
