i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Come on in and take your pants off
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