This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
