I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
