remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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