Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
