I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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