We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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